Love is something we all crave. Love is something we all deserve. But I admit while I preached that mantra I didn’t always believe it. I was a hypocrite.
But what I learned about love is that it has the capacity to overwhelm the greatest sins. The power to heal the deepest wounds. Below I discuss what i learned about love and what I have yet to grasp.
I invite you to grow with me. To become vulnerable by being brutally honest with ourselves in order to give love a chance in our lives. Let’s go.
I Corinthians 13
Love is patient.
Be patient. This has been the hardest thing I have had to deal with. Recently I have been blessed with the opportunity to practice this trait. Okay, so if I told you how long I have had to practice this trait you would certainly find me a whiner or a weakling. But goddamn this trait is hard.
Women aren’t always straightforward (sometimes we men are too callously straightforward). I grew up with a strong mother who spoke her mind; always. But this last year I saw her heart and that broke me down. There was so much unsaid and so much I did not know. Took her over 20 years to open up and share with me. Maybe it’s the changes in me that made her more comfortable sharing with me or maybe it simply took 20 years. Regardless, I now seek to love more than I seek to understand. Be patient when you don’t understand. She’s having a hard time too.
Love is kind.
Be kind. Not selectively. Always.
It does not envy.
What he has or possesses may be more than what I have. But God gives me exactly what I need to love the people He surrounds me with.
It does not boast.
Don’t boast how awesome your relationship is. Just live it.
It is not proud.
I will never be too proud to tell a woman when I am struggling or share when I am happy. I will be wise of course, but if she cannot receive it then I know I have the wrong receiver.
It is not rude.
It is not self-seeking.
I still cannot do this. How do I seek to make her happy during moments when I am so unhappy myself?
It is not easily angered.
Okay, after having had a few (several) dating experiences and relationships it’s extremely easy to make assumptions and project those assumptions onto others. Don’t. I may act like some Asian men, but in many ways I act in my own special ways. She does too. Don’t stereotype. Observe.
It keeps no records of wrongs.
I have not mastered this yet.
Love does not delight in evil bu rejoices with the truth.
Do not bring harm to someone you love, even if you are lying in your heart about loving them and paying lip-service only. Dish out love as carefully as you sign your name to binding contracts. Read the fine print (e.g., her individuality) and understand that no amount of words can cover entirely what’s in the relationship.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
I have loved and gotten hurt. All I can say is, fuck hurt. Get over it. Let it go. Love again. I fight for so many things and I realized I have never fought for love. I am fighting now. I hope my grandfather is proud.