There are two things that most (perhaps all) women love: hand holding and eye contact. This post is on eye contact. There are several important factors that make eye contact sexy: your facial expression, duration of eye contact, when you actually make eye contact, and how you look away. Some guys learn to do this artificially; but gentleman, the best kind of interactions are usually (mostly) the most organic ones.
Develop Eye Confidence in the Gym
I see a lot of dudes in the gym who could use some Eye Confidence. When they walk past another dude, they usually look away or look down. When I’m in the gym I make eye contact with those I walk past and I usually greet them. If they appear to be younger or at my age range, I give them a ‘What’s up’. If they appear older than me, I give them a nod and a “how you doing”. I always make eye contact, rather than look away or look straight ahead. It use to be uncomfortable, but like building muscle mass, building eye confidence takes practice.
When guys in the gym come up and ask me if I am done with the weights I am using, I look them in the eye and let them know how many sets I have left and that they can “work in” if they want. By giving them permission, I take control of the situation. The gym is a jungle- a more controlled setting of the real world jungle we live in. Learn to be king of the jungle, even if it’s momentary in the transient interactions you encounter.
Applying Eye Contact
When she’s talking about serious (e.g., her goals) or perhaps heavier topics (e.g., family), stop what you’re doing and look at her. Even if she is not looking back at you, she knows that you are looking at her. Eye contact above all else shows you are paying attention.
When I walk past women, I never look away. Even if they are not looking at me, I still say “how you doing”. We’re human beings. If they are walking past you then they are most likely alive (unless they are a ghost, in that case, I’m not sure what to do). Greet one another and acknowledge each other’s presence.
Keeping Eye Contact
Alright, here’s the truth. I’ve been extremely turned on before just simply during a nice conversation with intimate eye-to-eye contact. If you laughed after reading that comment, young man, GROW UP (On a side note, I hear often from younger guys about how much ‘play’ they get. Here is how you tell men apart from the boys: men have had unapologetic, unabashed, intense relationships with women whereas boys are still getting over puberty and the awesomeness of seeing a woman naked). If you are still laughing, keeping laughing. I guarantee you the women aren’t laughing.
Here are some tips:
- Never look away first. Let her look away. Practice this by looking in your own eyes the entire time you brush your teeth. Two things happen during that exercise: you start to think of thoughts that affect your self-esteem or your mind if just blank. If your mind is the latter, think thoughts while maintaining eye contact
- Always smile (organically) while looking at her. Or at least have a ‘happy’ facial expression. If the topic is heavy, keep a more solemn face. Social Skills 101, fellas.
- When she is talking, make eye contact.
- When another girl walks by while you are on a date NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER look at that other girl.